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5 Years Sober With No Help — Here's How I Did It

5 Years Sober With No Help — Here's How I Did It

Jack Salmon
April 08, 2026

Become the best you

Welcome to this weeks newsletter - 5 Years Sober With No Help — Here's How I Did It

5 Years Sober With No Help — Here's How I Did It

To even think that I'm 5 years sober blows my mind.

There was once a time in my life where I couldn't make it past a weekend without drinking and taking drugs. My whole life revolved around it.

My early twenties were chaotic but if I'm honest, I did enjoy myself. It was from the age of 24 to 27 that what was once fun started to take its toll.

I no longer enjoyed drinking. I would dread the weekend. And I could feel myself losing control.

It got to a point where I was sitting alone in my kitchen for days on end, drinking, sniffing and balloons. Standing there with swollen legs and feet. A deep, dark feeling of sadness and loneliness sitting over me. Pushing my body to the point of breakdown every single time.

Then suffering for the next 3 days after. Only to do it all again.

When you spend that much time alone doing that to yourself, you start to hate yourself. Because you know how harmful it is. You know what it's doing to you. But you can't stop.

At times, death felt like the only way out.

After years of trying and failing to go sober - five years ago. It was my little sister's 9th birthday and after the party was done, I went back home alone and did what I always did.

This didn't feel like a rock bottom for me, I already reached that point in the past but this time something clicked - I realised if i didnt change now i would waste or lose my life so I finally made the decision to quit for good. And what I'm going to share with you today is exactly what allowed me to get sober and stay sober for the past 5 years. Without any guidance. Without any support. Just me.

Purpose

If you follow me, this won't be the first time you've heard me say this. And if you're new here — it might well be.

The number one thing that helped me go sober and stay sober was creating purpose for my life.

I always thought that purpose was something you find, something you're born with, or some one magic thing that just clicks. But I was wrong. Purpose is created. And I created mine by getting clear on four questions.

1. Who do I want to be? What type of person do I want to be? How do I want to show up in life? What traits do I want to embody?

I wanted to be healthy, fit, strong, confident and successful. But I didn't have that at the front of my mind and I certainly wasn't showing up that way. In fact I was the complete opposite. Once I got clear on this, I could start putting the things in place to actually become that person. And that led me to question two.

2. What goals do I want to achieve? When I was drinking and doing drugs, I had no clear goals or vision. I was aimlessly drifting through every week, so when the weekend came, of course I wanted to go out. Even when I didn't want to, I had nothing else to focus on. So why not?

When I got clear on who I wanted to be successful, for example I could match a goal to that person. Build a business. Suddenly I had clarity, focus and direction. And that led me to question three.

3. What life do I want to live? I looked ahead and asked myself, how do I actually want my life to look? Freedom. Fresh weekends. Multiple holidays. And one day, becoming a millionaire, which felt so far off at the time. But just thinking about it gave me something I hadn't felt in a long time. Hope. The idea that maybe this was actually possible.

And when I was answering these questions, I wasn't just thinking about the next few months. I was thinking 3 to 5 years ahead. I wanted something worth committing to.

4. Why? This is the one that made everything click.

What is my deep emotional reason why? At that point in my life I didn't have much but I was in so much pain and I hated who I was. I reminded myself of that every single day. And that pain became my fuel.

Out of everything I'm going to share today, this is what moved the needle most for me. It's also what still holds me accountable now. I knew that if I was going to go sober, I needed something to focus on that would bring me more fulfillment, excitement, joy, energy and confidence than any drink or drug ever could.

And since that day, I've been committed to it.

Before you move on, if I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to sit down and answer those four questions honestly. It won't just help you. It will change your life.

You can use the exact template I use, for free, right here: becomethebestyou.mykajabi.com.

Education

I started with purpose because it's the most important but the thing that allowed me to actually believe I could create and fulfil that purpose was educating myself through personal development books.

Before the age of 26 I had never read a book in my life. And because of that I genuinely thought I was thick. That I wouldn't do anything special with my life.

But after spending countless hours reading about personal development and actually applying what I was learning, I started to see real change. For the first time ever, it felt like I was progressing.

And on top of that, reading about so many people who had gone from rock bottom to building incredible lives made me ask myself a question I'd never asked before.

Why not me?

If all these people could do It, why was it not possible for me? Of course it was.

But here's the thing it wasn't just the reading. The most important part was the application. No matter how small the progress was, if I read something and implemented it, it helped me.

Build a morning routine
Set goals
Build habits
Look after my health
Understand my mind and myself better

All of it combined made me feel for the first time, like I was in control of my life. Rather than my life being in control of me.

If you already read, make sure you're applying what you read.

If you don't read, start. Now.

Readers are leaders.

I Had to Let Go Of My Old Identity

Drink and drugs was all I'd ever known and over the years I'd built a persona around it.

Jack Salmon. Ladies man. The one who goes mental. Big ego. Drinks, does drugs, fights people. The lad.

When I was young, that felt cool. But as I got older, that same identity became the thing that was destroying me.

Letting go of it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Because I genuinely didn't know who I'd be without it.

I wanted to keep impressing my mates. I wanted to feel significant. I still wanted to feel like the man.

But I realised that was all coming from a place of fear. And if I was truly going to change my life, I needed to build a new identity.

Someone who is a personal trainer. Who looks after his health. Who is sober. Who is into personal growth. Who contributes something positive to the people around him.

Even writing this now I remember how weak that person felt to me at the start of this journey. Vulnerable. Less egotistic. Less loud.

But I knew that version of me would serve me so much better in the long run.

I just had to let go of who I was and step into who I wanted to be.

If this resonated with you and you're holding on to an old version of yourself, let go. Because if you don't, you'll never fully become the person you know deep down you're meant to be.

Changing My Environment

I have nothing bad to say about the people I used to hang around with. If I'm honest, I was the worst out of all of us.

But after a while of trying to get my life on track, I started to notice that we didn't have much in common anymore.

I was committed to changing my life and fulfilling my purpose. The people around me weren't. And I started to realise that if I kept putting myself in the same environments and around the same people — I would keep slipping back into my old ways of thinking, feeling and behaving.

That wasn't on them. That was on me.

So I made the decision to cut some friends out completely and limit time with others.

Was it hard? Yes.

Did I feel lonely a lot of the time? Yes.

But I would rather sit with the discomfort of loneliness whilst working on myself — than feel lonely sitting in a room doing drink and drugs with people I no longer resonated with. That version of lonely was so much harder than anything self improvement ever threw at me.

To me it was a no brainer.

After a while it got easier. I found peace in my own company. And that feeling of being okay on your own — that's a superpower.

It wasn't easy. But it was worth it.

And honestly, it's one of the reasons I built the BE Community — because I wanted to give people the chance to feel part of something, without having to go through that feeling of being completely alone.

Change your environment. Change your life.

The Be community: https://becomethebestyou.co.uk/community/

I Had To Stop Lying To Myself

Every time I let myself down, I'd say the same things.

This time will be different. I'll only have one. I'll only have two. I won't go mental this time, last week was bad so I'll keep it together.

But as soon as I had that first drink, every single one of those plans went straight out the window.

I started taking myself seriously the moment I stopped lying to myself.

Whenever I thought about drinking or doing drugs, instead of letting the FOMO reel me in and focusing on how exciting the first hour would be, I took myself to the end of the night instead.

Me. Alone. Sad. Self-sabotaging. Full of regret.

That image alone was enough to kill the urge immediately.

And I'd ask myself one simple question, "Is this what you want? Because you know exactly how this ends."

The answer was always no.

Once I started doing this, I could no longer lie to myself. Because it was clear that things would only ever go one way.

It's a small shift in perspective. But it put my mind in the right place every single time.

I Focused On The Gain, Not The Loss

Every time I tried going sober before, I focused on what I'd lose.

I'll lose my confidence. I'll lose friends. I won't be funny anymore. I won't be able to meet women. I'll be boring.

All that did was lead me straight back to drinking and back to living in regret.

So instead of focusing on the loss, I started focusing on what I'd gain.

I'd build real, natural confidence. I'd earn more money. I'd stop letting myself down. I'd get in shape. I'd start actually improving my life. I'd fix my relationships with others and with myself.

And the list went on.

When you focus on what you're losing, letting go feels impossible. But when you shift your focus to what you're gaining, suddenly it sounds exciting. It sounds like the right thing to do.

Have a think right now, have you been focusing on the loss?

If so, what is there to gain from cutting down or going sober? Write it down. Sit with it. Let that be your focus.

To Finish

Going sober was the most respectful thing I have ever done for myself. And I am so glad I finally committed to it.

I said I'd go sober multiple times. I failed at least six times. But with every failure I came back. learnt, grew and developed into a more resilient, disciplined and confident version of myself.

By committing to sobriety and becoming the best version of me, I've been able to:

Build a successful coaching business that has changed 200+ lives
Complete a sub-3 hour marathon and a 100 mile ultra marathon
Become a paid public speaker
Be in a successful relationship and have my first child
Create a life I genuinely want to live
Become a man who is in control of his life
And most importantly, be proud of myself

Going sober might not be for everyone. But it was for me. I could never have just one drink. I was out of control. And if I'd carried on, I would have wasted my life or lost it.

If this resonates with you and you feel like going sober or cutting back on drink and drugs is what you need, give yourself that chance. Apply the principles I've shared above.

Your life is worth living. But if you keep doing what you're doing, knowing it's not working, and you carry on the same way, there will come a day where you look back with nothing but regret, wishing you'd given yourself the chance.

Be the change. Make yourself proud.

Become the Best You.